she held my hand as we walked down a road only she knew
a path she probably created to lure her men in.
I could never guess what was at the end, for I was one of her men
– maybe the first, maybe the last –
and I could never measure the stairs of my ruins.
she took me in and had me moving
but she never told me when to rest.
– she pushed me off an abyss and didn’t even use her hands
you look like a dream, and feel like an ocean
no flash of light can pull me out.
I think I might drown (and I don’t think I care).
you see how the wheels keep turning
driving the lines of your hips
the curves of your skin
the bridge of your bones
you see and you let them turn
let them come
let them drown
in the ocean of your eyes
the forest of your hair
the constellation of your cheeks
you see and you tell them that’s what they’re supposed to do
to the main road of your back
the shortcut of your thighs
the freeway of your veins
and they turn
– that’s why, darling, you’re a curse
when I first saw you
it wasn’t a pretty day.
it wasn’t even a good day.
there weren’t sparks or eye contact.
I just saw you and that
was about it.
when you first saw me
it wasn’t a cloudy day.
it wasn’t even a bad day.
there weren’t doubts or misunderstandings.
you just saw me and that
was about it.
the way we saw each other then
set the tone to what we were and
what we became.
there was nothing in our favor,
no magic spell, no gentle push of fate,
just reality checks.
but yet we are here.
we are here.
once there was a girl who saw a boy because the boy saw her.
in her mind, she was a princess and he became her king in a secret kingdom of love,
once there was a secret out to the world that turned royalty into ruins.
in his mind, he was in doubt for he wasn’t sure she could love anything, since love was so foreign for her,
once there was a mistake that hurt and cut because life took wrong turns.
in their minds, they ran in circles, going through mazes hidden in the walls of a castle,
and a lover,
and a home.
once there was a turn and a red sign that led them back to each other at the right moment.
in its mind, a certainty that couldn’t second guess
— once he got it wrong; once she knew how to love him.
you say the truth with blatant lies
and I lay down with secret sights
you hide from me and seek my mind
and I look for you hoping not to find.
— that’s why, darling, we are doomed
there’s not enough oxygen in the atmosphere to keep the flame of love eternally burning
it’s impossible to measure how long it will live and how soon it will die, but death is its only certainty.
its combustion is inevitable, quick, everlasting
— that’s why, darling, I don’t wish the cool, but the coal